CategoryParents

Your Guide to Self Mastery is Here!

What is it? It’s more than a planner. Yes, you can write down your monthly and weekly tasks, but there’s so much more. Get reminders to be your best self, to give back to others, to check in with yourself and take out some YOU time. All with 15 minutes a day or less of planning.

Less time planning. More time doing.

Become a Master of the Universe – Order yours now

Practicing Mindfulness With Family

Practicing mindfulness has many benefits for all areas of life. It affects physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being. It’s an even more powerful tool when that intention and awareness is shared with others – in this case, our family. A Family that practices mindfulness together, stays together.

A mindful family is:

  • Aware of each other’s wants/needs
  • Emotionally available
  • More likely to take responsibility for how we are feeling
  • Less likely to project negative feelings onto others

Cultivate Curiosity

Mindfulness can be a new and odd subject to those who are unfamiliar. To avoid awkward interactions like in the comic, we want to introduce mindfulness in a way that instills curiosity. Questions that may get others to be curious about mindfulness are:

  • Are you present?
  • How do you feel right now? Do you want to change anything about that?
  • Have you set an intention (for the day/activity)?
  • What do you think of taking a few minutes to be mindful with ourselves and each other?

Starting a Practice

A family that practices mindfulness together, stays together.

Start Small – try a short mindfulness minutes activity and reflect on the experience as a group (perhaps before/after a meal). Most of our mindfulness activities include the following steps which can be used as a basis for your own activity!

  1. Close your eyes. Take 3 deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
  2. Name an emotion – what word best describes how you feel right now? Take note of it and let it go for now.
  3. Observe the senses (can be just 1 sense: i.e. Listen to the sounds around; or engage each of the senses if time allows: hearing, smell, taste, touch, sight).
  4. Observe the breath – Let it happen naturally without thinking about it.
  5. Set an intention. If nothing specific comes to mind, set an intention to be present and express gratitude throughout the day. The more you are specific about your intentions, the more likely you are to act on them without even thinking about it. We subconsciously achieve our goals or desired state of being.
  6. Name an emotion – what word best describes how you feel right now? Take note of it. Open your eyes.

Discuss your experience with your family. Here are possible discussion questions to get you started.

  • How do you feel? Do you want to change that? Remember we can hold on to, or let go of any emotion. It’s a choice.
  • Especially with family, be accountable for your own emotions. Don’t use crutches or deflections such as “I feel like you…”, or “You made me feel…” Own your feelings.
  • What are you working on?
  • Do you need support?

Try this activity with your kids, parents, spouse, or close friends. It is a great way to connect and share perspectives.

What’s the ROI on Mindfulness?

Mindfulness – What’s it worth? With busy schedules, taking time out of our day to practice mindfulness may seem counterproductive. The key is that practicing mindfulness improves everything we do. Mindfulness helps us to be at peace. Among many benefits, it helps us focus, increases productivity, reduces stress, improves the immune system, and reduces risk (physical and emotional) by virtue of being more aware.

Until recent years the benefits of mindfulness were not well tracked. As stress and distractions become more prominent in an overstimulated world, we are realizing that there is a real dollar impact of mindfulness (or lack thereof). We are now starting to see how mindfulness is connected to everything we do. The simple explanation is that by letting go of stress, we can process more of our experiences through the rational thinking part of our brain and less through the instinctive/reactive regions. We literally become more mindful and experience more moments of our life.

90-95% of participants in our mindfulness sessions reported a reduction in stress and an improvement in mood.

Insurance companies are realizing the importance of mindfulness. Aetna discovered that they earn $3000 more per employee (by gaining about an hour in productivity each week) and reduced expenses by $2000 per employee (yearly). SAP, a German technology has started rolling out mindfulness programs for its employees and noticed an ROI of 200% per employee.

The numbers are there for those who need to see them. My own work at JAH Advisory has found even more enlightening results. While practicing mindfulness with children and adults, we have made some interesting observations. Everyone (about 95% of participants in mindful sessions) reports reduced stress and an improvement in mood. Students are more engaged throughout the day. Relationships improve – between peers, teachers/students, and leaders/team members, and families. I can’t list all the amazing changes that a mindfulness practice can bring about.

Classroom Mindfulness Image

That’s the truly amazing thing. I already knew it, but seeing it in practices shows that the real value of mindfulness is priceless. You can’t measure the final impact on another person’s life and the positive impact they may have on others and so on. It is priceless. We can transform lives and create ripples by simply being aware. So remember to stay present.

It’s Never Too Late

Have you ever heard anyone talk about their health as if they are stuck and can’t improve? I teach yoga and too often do I hear “I’m not flexible enough for that.” or “I’m too old for that.”

I’m not just talking about yoga here. I’m talking about life, health, relationships, goals, and anything else where self-limiting beliefs might show up.

Well, there’s good news! It doesn’t matter how old or flexible you are – you can still practice yoga. In fact, we are capable of much more than we think. All it takes is the right intention and the openness to the possibility of “success” whatever that looks like to you. We have to believe – and I mean truly believe on a deep subconscious level – that we can accomplish whatever it is that we set out to do. Otherwise, you fail before you start.

So I’m not just talking about yoga here. I’m talking about life, health, relationships, goals, and anything else where self-limiting beliefs might show up. It’s never too late to work towards our goals. In fact, if you haven’t started already, NOW is the best time to start! Whether its running marathons, saving money, mending broken relationships, or simply living well – it is never too late to start!

Remember, everything works with patterns and repetition. The more you stretch and exercise, the easier it will become. In fact, the more you do anything, the easier it becomes for your body and brain! At first a new activity may feel difficult or awkward – and we may even want to sink into old habits. With practice, the pattern leaves more of an imprint on our brain and body, and it becomes easier.

Examples:

  • The more you eat healthy, the easier it becomes.
  • The more you practice eating out of stress, the easier it becomes.
  • When you relax more frequently it becomes easier.
  • When you practice self-doubt, it becomes easier.
  • When you practice positive affirmations, they become easier.

Some Hard Facts – Don’t Let Them Scare You!

  • Children are like sponges. It’s much easier for them to adopt new habits and behavior patterns than adults, but we can still do it! Our brains work similarly with the main difference being as adults, its filled with so much that we have to ‘overwrite’ old patterns to save new ones.
  • We can practice training the body and mind to its youthful capacities.
  • Believe in yourself! You can do anything you put your mind to!
  • Never say “It’s too late!” You are always capable of improving!

Are You ‘Too Busy’ To Relax? Busting 3 Myths About Relaxation

Remember to relax! It’s easy to get lost in the sauce. Too often do we get caught up with the motions of daily life that we forget to slow down and take time to check in with ourselves. We go through the day picking up tension as we go and when we get home from work or school, we keep going. It’s easy to go on to the next thing without taking a pause – taking a second (or 60) to enjoy your breath. Instead, we hold on to much of the stresses, static, and noise that we experience daily (think about a time when someone close to you had a bad day and took it out on you). We forget to relax and simply be. Thankfully, it’s also easy to take that pause and find stillness within – even for a few moments amidst chaotic life.

“When you take it easy, the next minute will find that you are happy. We all have problems. Life happens, and we move through it.”

Sadhguru

Relaxation Myths

  • I’m too busy to relax – This is simply not true. It just takes a minute. The thing about practicing relaxation is that it becomes easier the more we do it – just like any other muscle or habit. This means that we can relax faster (as odd as it may seem to relax quickly). No matter how little practice you have, 60 seconds of intentional relaxation is infinitely better than none. So if you have a busy schedule try a short routine that you can practice frequently.
  • I relax when I watch TV (or other activities – e.g. play video games) – This is probably the most common relaxation myth. We think we are relaxing when we engage in non-physical activities (like watching TV) but the nervous system is still engaged. We have to remember that just by thinking about something, we create the same responses in the body. That’s why we hold our breath or our heart beats faster when we watch an intense action scene in a movie.
  • It’s hard to relax – This might be the most believable of the myths. The thing is, it doesn’t take much active effort to relax. By definition, relaxing means to let go of tension – we are actively dis-engaging from physical and mental activity. That’s where it’s easy to get caught up. When we think about relaxing, we think about it too much which puts us in an engaged state. We put too much effort and work too hard for something that is actually effortless. All it takes is to be present and aware. The trick is to let go of control. This is what it looks like in practice: Bring your arms to your sides. Take a deep breath in, and make a tight fist. As you exhale, open your hand, relax your muscles, and let your fingers fall into a natural position. Allow your fingers, hands, and arms, and shoulders to fall towards the ground. If you have surrendered completely and are no longer fighting gravity – Congratulations! You are relaxed. Now do this with your entire body!

When we think about relaxing, we think about it too much… We put too much effort and work too hard for something that is actually effortless.

Jahmaal Hays

How to Make Relaxation A Part of Your Daily Life

We can use simple routines to bring presence and peace into our daily lives.

Morning rituals

  1. Allow yourself at LEAST 30 minutes without screen time (no smartphone or tv). This minimizes the stimulation to the brain and nervous system. When our nervous system gets stimulated in the day time, it is harder to settle back down.
  2. Take 1-5 minutes to do the relaxation check-in below.
  3. Notice how you are feeling (and if you want to continue the day with that feeling), and set an intention for the day. With this practice, we can let go of tension/baggage from the previous day and move forward with mindfulness.
  4. I recommend adding a physical activity and mental activity to the morning ritual. I practice yoga and sudoku as a part of my routine. That way I can engage my body and mind in a healthy way, without creating a distracting environment (e.g. Facebook or YouTube).

60-Second Relaxation Check-In

  1. Close your eyes.
  2. Take a deep breath in, and out, then breathe normally. Watch the natural rhythm of your breath.
  3. When your breath slows down, bring your awareness to each of the senses 1 by 1.
    • Start listening to the sounds around you
    • Then notice the smells and tastes
    • Notice the weight of the body and let it sink in with gravity.
    • Notice the thoughts, images, and words that pass by in the mind.
  4. Bring your attention back to your breath, and set an intention for the rest of the day or your task at hand.

Get Help!

If you’re finding it difficult to slow down and cultivate peace, then reach out to someone! Ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable to your relaxation routine or practice with you. And if you want even more guidance, contact the expert!